Several biblical figures, primarily prophets and leaders, asked God to let them die due to overwhelming despair, burnout, or anger - most notably Elijah, Jonah, and Moses. Others expressing similar death wishes include Jeremiah and Job. There are more, but let's look at these individuals.
Elijah begged to die under a broom tree after fleeing Jezebel, saying, "It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life" (1 Kings 19:4). Here is his account told in 1 Kings 19:4-21. But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree; and he requested for himself that he might die, and said, "It is enough; now, O LORD, take my life, for I am not better than my fathers." He lay down and slept under a juniper tree; and behold, there was an angel touching him, and he said to him, "Arise, eat." Then he looked and behold, there was at his head a bread cake baked on hot stones, and a jar of water. So he ate and drank and lay down again. The angel of the LORD came again a second time and touched him and said, "Arise, eat, because the journey is too great for you." So he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mountain of God. Then he came there to a cave and lodged there; and behold, the word of the LORD came to him, and He said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?" He said, "I have been very zealous for the LORD, the God of hosts; for the sons of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars and killed Your prophets with the sword. And I alone am left; and they seek my life, to take it away." So He said, "Go forth and stand on the mountain before the LORD." And behold, the LORD was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. And behold, a voice came to him and said, "What are you doing here, Elijah?" Then he said, "I have been very zealous for the LORD, the God of hosts; for the sons of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars and killed Your prophets with the sword. And I alone am left; and they seek my life, to take it away." The LORD said to him, "Go, return on your way to the wilderness of Damascus, and when you have arrived, you shall anoint Hazael king over Aram; and Jehu the son of Nimshi you shall anoint king over Israel; and Elisha the son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah you shall anoint as prophet in your place. It shall come about, the one who escapes from the sword of Hazael, Jehu shall put to death, and the one who escapes from the sword of Jehu, Elisha shall put to death. Yet I will leave 7,000 in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal and every mouth that has not kissed him." So he departed from there and found Elisha the son of Shaphat, while he was plowing with twelve pairs of oxen before him, and he with the twelfth. And Elijah passed over to him and threw his mantle on him. He left the oxen and ran after Elijah and said, "Please let me kiss my father and my mother, then I will follow you." And he said to him, "Go back again, for what have I done to you?" So he returned from following him, and took the pair of oxen and sacrificed them and boiled their flesh with the implements of the oxen, and gave it to the people and they ate. Then he arose and followed Elijah and ministered to him.
Jonah desired to die out of anger that God spared Nineveh. Here is his account told in Jonah 3:10 and 4:1-11. When God saw their deeds, that they turned from their wicked way, then God relented concerning the calamity which He had declared He would bring upon them. And He did not do it. But it greatly displeased Jonah and he became angry. He prayed to the LORD and said, "Please LORD, was not this what I said while I was still in my own country? Therefore in order to forestall this I fled to Tarshish, for I knew that You are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, and one who relents concerning calamity. Therefore now, O LORD, please take my life from me, for death is better to me than life." The LORD said, "Do you have good reason to be angry?" Then Jonah went out from the city and sat east of it. There he made a shelter for himself and sat under it in the shade until he could see what would happen in the city. So the LORD God appointed a plant and it grew up over Jonah to be a shade over his head to deliver him from his discomfort. And Jonah was extremely happy about the plant. But God appointed a worm when dawn came the next day and it attacked the plant and it withered. When the sun came up God appointed a scorching east wind, and the sun beat down on Jonah's head so that he became faint and begged with all his soul to die, saying, "Death is better to me than life." Then God said to Jonah, "Do you have good reason to be angry about the plant?" And he said, "I have good reason to be angry, even to death." Then the LORD said, "You had compassion on the plant for which you did not work and which you did not cause to grow, which came up overnight and perished overnight. Should I not have compassion on Nineveh, the great city in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know the difference between their right and left hand, as well as many animals?”
Moses asked God to kill him rather than continue bearing the burden of leading Israel alone. We find his account in Numbers 11:11-15. So Moses said to the LORD, "Why have You been so hard on Your servant? And why have I not found favor in Your sight, that You have laid the burden of all this people on me? Was it I who conceived all this people? Was it I who brought them forth, that You should say to me, 'Carry them in your bosom as a nurse carries a nursing infant, to the land which You swore to their fathers'? Where am I to get meat to give to all this people? For they weep before me, saying, 'Give us meat that we may eat!' I alone am not able to carry all this people, because it is too burdensome for me. So if You are going to deal thus with me, please kill me at once, if I have found favor in Your sight, and do not let me see my wretchedness.”
Jeremiah cursed the day of his birth. Jeremiah 20:14-18 tells us, “Cursed be the day when I was born; Let the day not be blessed when my mother bore me! Cursed be the man who brought the news To my father, saying, "A baby boy has been born to you!" And made him very happy. But let that man be like the cities Which the LORD overthrew without relenting, And let him hear an outcry in the morning And a shout of alarm at noon; Because he did not kill me before birth, So that my mother would have been my grave, And her womb ever pregnant. Why did I ever come forth from the womb To look on trouble and sorrow, So that my days have been spent in shame?”
Job wished for death during his suffering. In Job 3 we read, Afterward Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. And Job said, "Let the day perish on which I was to be born, And the night which said, 'A boy is conceived.' "May that day be darkness; Let not God above care for it, Nor light shine on it. "Let darkness and black gloom claim it; Let a cloud settle on it; Let the blackness of the day terrify it. "As for that night, let darkness seize it; Let it not rejoice among the days of the year; Let it not come into the number of the months. "Behold, let that night be barren; Let no joyful shout enter it. "Let those curse it who curse the day, Who are prepared to rouse Leviathan. "Let the stars of its twilight be darkened; Let it wait for light but have none, And let it not see the breaking dawn; Because it did not shut the opening of my mother's womb, Or hide trouble from my eyes. "Why did I not die at birth, Come forth from the womb and expire? "Why did the knees receive me, And why the breasts, that I should suck? "For now I would have lain down and been quiet; I would have slept then, I would have been at rest, With kings and with counselors of the earth, Who rebuilt ruins for themselves; Or with princes who had gold, Who were filling their houses with silver. "Or like a miscarriage which is discarded, I would not be, As infants that never saw light. "There the wicked cease from raging, And there the weary are at rest. "The prisoners are at ease together; They do not hear the voice of the taskmaster. "The small and the great are there, And the slave is free from his master. "Why is light given to him who suffers, And life to the bitter of soul, Who long for death, but there is none, And dig for it more than for hidden treasures, Who rejoice greatly, And exult when they find the grave? "Why is light given to a man whose way is hidden, And whom God has hedged in? "For my groaning comes at the sight of my food, And my cries pour out like water. "For what I fear comes upon me, And what I dread befalls me. "I am not at ease, nor am I quiet, And I am not at rest, but turmoil comes.”
These requests from God's people to die, and wishes that one had never been born alive, stemmed from burnout, fear, anger, and feeling alone in their struggles. These accounts were expressions of extreme emotional distress and fatigue rather than prayers for suicide. God did not cause any of them to die at the time of their cries. Yet, He did meet them in these times with counsel and provision.
Do you feel extreme sorrow? Are you just plain tired as you continually are zealous for the Lord, and prompted into His purpose for you in service to the Kingdom? Do you just want to go on to the Lord because the sorrows and labors here have become too great to bear? Do you just want to go Home and be with Jesus?
If so, you are in good company! Yet, if you are reading this, God has brought you to another day. The day He has brought you to is the day He will bring you through until the time He calls you Home. He has counsel and provision for our days already in place for us. In Him we are not alone. “In returning (repentance) and rest is your salvation. In quietness and confidence (in Him) is your strength.” Isaiah 30:15
Go on and read the Chapter of Isaiah 30 and see that God is positioned to fight our battles for us. He is named “Lord of Hosts (Armies)” many times in scripture! He wants us to actively rest in Him. He wants us to actively trust in Him - confidently!
Do you lament over the burden of sin in the world? Has the burden and awful regret of a fallen world brought painful assault upon you? If so, you are marked with the Blood of the Lamb. Ezekiel 9:4 says, “The LORD said to him, "Go through the midst of the city, even through the midst of Jerusalem, and put a mark on the foreheads of the men who sigh and groan over all the abominations which are being committed in its midst.” Revelation 7:3 says, "Do not harm the earth or the sea or the trees until we have sealed the bond-servants of our God on their foreheads.”
Are you sealed by the Blood of the Lamb? Following Jesus comes with a Cup and a Cross. He set the path and walked it before us. He bore our burdens, and now we are called to bear the burdens of others. Our Heavenly Father may not take the Cup and the Cross from us (it is our calling), but Jesus bears it with us, saying, “Abide in me and I will abide in you, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5
Believe. Abide. Endure. Remain confident in the Lord. Merciful God be with you to the end. Amen.
