Kicking Against the Pricks, pt 2 (a Testimony)

"And Saul, yet breathing out threatenings and slaughter against the disciples of the Lord, went unto the high priest, and desired of him letters to Damascus to the synagogues, that if he found any of this way, whether they were men or women, he might bring them bound unto Jerusalem.  And as he journeyed, he came near Damascus: and suddenly there shined round about him a light from heaven: And he fell to the earth, and heard a voice saying unto him, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me?  And he said, Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks.  And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do? And the Lord said unto him, Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do.  Acts 9:1-6

Yesterday I wrote a blog about kicking against the pricks.  The goad (prick) is a traditional farming implement, used to spur or guide livestock, usually oxen, which are pulling a plough or a cart; used also to round up cattle.  It is a type of long stick with a pointed end, also known as the cattle prod.  To kick against the pricks is to resist, protest, or fight against those in positions of authority.  To kick against the pricks is to kick back from being goaded - prodded.

My blog, yesterday, dealt with the evil pricks (authorities) of the world, goading the Christian in ways against their conscience.  I encouraged us to remember that our fight is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers.  I wrote of the importance of keeping our face toward our Heavenly Father, from whence comes our help.  In this world we will have trouble, yet Jesus told us to take heart.  He has overcome the world!

I believe the words of Jesus to Saul in these verses, however, were about Saul's response to the pricks of God on his life.  It is painful to ignore the pricks, prods, and goads of the Spirit of Christ Jesus!  In the end, it is dangerous to ignore them, and finally to become calloused - no longer able to feel, or respond to the call of God upon our lives.

1 Timothy 4:1,2 tells us, "Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron."  What a sad and scary commentary - to have rebelled against God's call upon our life, God's correction, God's words, until we have seared our conscience to the point of being unfeeling toward the pricks of God upon our life.  It is here, in this seared condition, that we make up our own take on truth - one that is acommodating, self elevating, and self serving.  Let us call it what it is - witchcraft.

1 Samuel 15:23(a) tells us, "For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry."  Oh what sorrows this rebellion and stubbornness leads to.

God put His mark on me at a young age.  Why?  I don't know, yet I am beyond grateful.  As a little girl God gave me dreams and personal encouragements.  On the same turn I was also subject to demonic attacks.  The devil wants to destroy God's children, and have them blame God for it.  At the age of 12 I was baptised in the Snake River by our local Pastor, Amos Shenk.  When I came up from the water I was filled with the Holy Spirit - it was transcendent - and my voice was taken from me for a while.  I could not speak.

Also, at the age of 12, I was on the fence of the world (hell), and Heaven.  I was in rebellion, and anger was taking its hold on me.  I had a fascination for Astrology, which I eventually gave in to.  It came to seem harmless, although I had been warned against it.  I was on my path to disbelief - a journey of many years.  My deliberate sin and rebellion, indeed, became witchcraft.  I became an instrument of the deceiver.  Eventually I studied Occult knowledge, sought out Occult experience, and was arrogant and accusing toward God and His people.

Yet, in all this time, while I engaged in abominations in practice and belief (of which Universalism was one), I had come to a conclusion.  I was bent on finding out what love is, and what this meant, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18  All I knew was lonliness, anger, and fear.  I made it my life goal to find out what love is, and how it would dispel fear.  In all my studies of gods, and pantheons, there was only one God who came to earth and gave His life for humanity for the sake of His love toward us.  This God was Christ Jesus.  So, as I did my studies and practices Jesus was my focus.  He was my example and ultimate Teacher.

Finally, a year ago last February, I had an encounter with God that was hellish and terrifying.  Some are brought to God by His overwhelming love.  Yet, I needed to be taught to fear.  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom!  (Proverbs 9:10)  Society teaches us that fear is bad.  Well, fear of the Lord is downright smart!  Christ Jesus tells us, in Matthew 10:28, "...fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."

In my spiritual journey, over the years, I had come to believe that a loving God would not destroy people in hell (Universalism), for eternity, as the Bible says - as Jesus said.  God showed me, however, that hell is REAL, and that apart from faith in Christ Jesus - in the path I was on - I was headed directly for hell.  To be shown God's holiness up against my corruption was terrifying.  I could not stand before Him.

I am still not 'recovered'.  I fear the Lord God with a reverent fear.  This is appropriate.  Yet, I have fallen in love with Him, and His words.  I love His commands.  I have chosen to love what God loves, and hate what God hates.  By His terrible prick - goading - and great mercy, I have placed myself firmly in His camp, through Christ Jesus.  Christ Jesus is the ONLY way to God - to be a Child of God.  We must die to the Old Man, and be born again in Christ Jesus.  He holds the keys to Heaven and Hell.  It is not God's will that any should perish in Hell.  Yet, man, in his rebellion, has chosen Hell over eternal life in Christ Jesus.

There is the briefest of stories in the Old Testiment that speaks so profoundly to me.  It is a story of a man who walked with God - and best of all, God walked with him!  He was a friend of God.  God and him were FRIENDS!  This man was Enoch.  "And Jared lived an hundred sixty and two years, and he begat Enoch: And Jared lived after he begat Enoch eight hundred years, and begat sons and daughters: And all the days of Jared were nine hundred sixty and two years: and he died.  And Enoch lived sixty and five years, and begat Methuselah: And Enoch walked with God after he begat Methuselah three hundred years, and begat sons and daughters: And all the days of Enoch were three hundred sixty and five years: And Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him." (Genesis 5:18-24)

I cry when I read this.  I want, more than anything in my life, to be friends with God - to walk with Him, and have Him walk with me.  I grieve, profoundly, over the years I spent in enmity against God, and the spiritual damage I caused in those years.  Kicking against the pricks is painful, and causes deep regrets.  Yet, here enters God's merciful plan of salvation found in Christ Jesus.  This plan was founded in God's great goodness, mercy, and LOVE!  "Glory to God in the Highest!  Peace on Earth, Goodwill to man!"

When God brought me back to Himself it was devastating - I was devastated.  God let me know, at that time, that a broken and a contrite heart He will not despise, and that if I wanted to enter the Kingdom of Heaven I must become as a child.  I put away the pursuit of knowledge that had puffed me up so severely - knowledge that was pure sin, futility, and vanity.  No one can stand before a Holy God.  All our righteousness is as filthy rags before Him.  The ONLY way we will one day stand is by the gift of Jesus' sacrifice, His faithfulness to forgive us when we confess our sins to Him, and the Power of His Blood.  It is only Jesus who will cause us to stand - "and this is his name whereby he shall be called, The Lord Our Righteousness."  Christ, alone, is our righteousness.  Spurn Him and there is no sacrifice left for you to keep you from the torment and fires of Hell.

Do not kick against the pricks of God.  To do so is painful and regretful.  Come to Christ Jesus and be saved.  I leave you with the truth of this old hymn.

Trust and Obey

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,

What a glory He sheds on our way!

While we do His good will, He abides with us still,

And with all who will trust and obey.

Refrain:

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way

To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies,

But His smile quickly drives it away;

Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear,

Can abide while we trust and obey.

Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share,

But our toil He doth richly repay;

Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross,

But is blessed if we trust and obey.

But we never can prove the delights of His love

Until all on the altar we lay;

For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,

Are for them who will trust and obey.

Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet,

Or we’ll walk by His side in the way;

What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;

Never fear, only trust and obey.

(John H. Sammis, 1887)