Sorry for the long delay in my reply. I wanted to take the time to compose my thoughts. My hope is that you will take the time in return to hear my thoughts and feelings. We can be kind to one another and agree to disagree. I would never force anyone to do anything. I would offer comfort and hope to those who have had an abortion and are grieving. My reasons against abortion are personal and I will not condone the use of abortion as a means to eliminate an unwanted or inconvenient pregnancy. This happens in the USA daily with little thought of the ramifications.
I am convinced that shame is the most deadly force Satan uses to prevent our spiritual growth. Shame can be used to keep us from coming to GOD for salvation with all of our frailties and/or walking in close fellowship with Him for our sanctification. Shame can also make it difficult to trust others when we need them most. Let me give you an example by telling you about one of the most painful times of my life that happened after I had already become a Child of GOD by grace through faith.
A few months before I turned 18 I found out I was pregnant. I was worried about what my dad would say and how I was going to face people at church. What would they say about me? Would I still be welcomed and loved? Would they turn their backs on me like my dad had done repeatedly? I didn't want anyone to know. So I kept it from them and instead aborted my innocent unborn child. Only those who have had an abortion can understand the depths of utter regret and remorse of making such a decision. The burden I carried around by myself was debilitating. So, finally I went to my mom and told her what I had done.
I will always remember her words to me. In anguish she said, "Ah, you killed my first grandchild!" She wasn't condemning me. She was agreeing with me what I had done was wrong. This is GOD'S reaction to sin because it is offensive to Him and He is just in saying this.
However, the very next thing she said as she drew me to herself to comfort me was, "I love you so much. I wish you would've come to me before making this decision on your own. You didn't have to do this. I would've comforted you and reassured you I am.always here to support you. I would've prayed with you and told you to let go of your shame. You are my child and no matter what you do I will always love you".
Oh, how it broke my heart that I had taken the life of my child, hurt my mother so deeply, sinned against a Holy GOD, and grieved the Holy Spirit.
This atrocity would have been avoided had I understood how much my mother and GOD loved me. If I knew I would have felt safe enough to come to them. I would have not based my decision on the fear (false evidence appearing real) of being rejected or abandoned. If I wouldn't have had a distorted view of GOD due to my earthly father's constant disapproval I would have realized that GOD is for me not against me (Romans 8:31), and that Christ died for the ungodly (Romans 5:6). Now, because I have been justified through faith I have peace with GOD through my Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 5:1). Because I have been justified by His blood, I shall be saved from GOD'S wrath (Romans 5:9) because GOD has not destined us for wrath, but for obtaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us, so that whether we are awake or asleep, we will live together with Him. Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing (1 Thessalonians 5:9-11).
Psalm 103:1-14, "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy Name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit,who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed. He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the people of Israel. The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will He keep His anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him, as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to His children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him. For He knows our frame, he remembers that we are dust.
At the conclusion of this testimony I will add this Sister's list of who GOD is to her, titled 'Who GOD is to me':
- He is my Creator who crowns me with love and compassion
- He is my forgiving Father
- He is Jesus my Joy Giver
- He is my Loving Lord
- He is my Righteous Redeemer
- He is my Compassionate Comforter
- He is my Savior who secures a place in Heaven for me
- He is my Deliverer from the Darkness that surrounds me
- He is my Bondage Breaker
- He is my Hiding Place and He surrounds me with songs of deliverance whenever I am afraid
- He is my Advocate, the Atoning Sacrifice for my sins
- He is my Burden Bearer
- He is my Shepherd who leads me and carries me close to His heart
- He is my Great High Priest who allows me to approach GOD's Throne of Grace with confidence to receive mercy
- He is my Vinedresser who gives me victory as I abide in Him
- He is my Constant Companion
- He is my Faithful Friend
- He is my Hope for Happiness
- He is my Path to Peace
- He is my Bridegroom who presents me holy and blameless before GOD
(She writes that she wrote this list for her beautiful Grandmother on her 103rd birthday.)
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